Where's the Beef?

I love my father in law.  I really do.  For those of you that know him, you know that he has the biggest heart a guy could have.  He called us the other day to let us know that he got some extra meat for making keftedes, Greek meatballs - here’s a recipe for those who are interested. He then proceeded to ask if we would like any of the extra beef to make our own. I mean this guy is a real guy’s guy. “I got some extra meat. You want some?”  All kidding aside, the fact that he would go out of his way to ask us if we would like him to make us some dinner, knowing we have a newborn is a really kind gesture.  How many guys do you know that would go out of their way to help you out?  Seriously, can you even count them on one hand?  I’m not talking about the everyday friend who says they would be there for you, but one that truly would do anything for you. They would stop everything, at the drop of a dime, to offer their hands, their feet, their sweat, and their heart to help someone in need?

A few months back I had some friends at my house for dinner and conversation.  While talking , my friend Rick and I get into a discussion about how there is no real spot in the kitchen to store our garbage can so we keep it in a closet. I know odd, but this is what men talk about, ok? Then without hesitation Rick says if we want that he would come over and build a cabinet for us right off of our kitchen island to make it easier.   Now those of you that know me know I am not the handiest of guys myself, so any chance I get to have someone do the construction work for me, I jump at.  It’s not that I’m lazy or don’t like to do work, I am more of as my father in law likes to say, a pencil pusher.  Trust me; I don’t take that with any sort of disrespect for who I am and what I do. Some guys just have it in their wiring to build, repair, tinker while others are more into spreadsheets, paperwork and office tasks.  I have no doubt in my mind that if I asked him for help, Rick would be over in a heartbeat ready to be the hands and feet for me in building that cabinet.  

How many times have you heard the stereotype about guys who don't like to ask for directions or help? Sometimes I ask myself is it really just a stereotype or is there some underlying truth to it?  When are we going to break that mold?  Why do we, as men, feel the pressure to always know what to say and do the right thing in every situation?  We want to be that guy that has it all together. We want to "fix" all the problems, have all the answers and be in control. We want to be that guy others rely on, the one who has the right tools and the right answers.  Who puts these pressures on us? Our wives? Society? Our bosses? Maybe sometimes, but I believe we mostly put it on ourselves.

Think about it, this is often the same pressure we place on our sons.  We want them to be a star athlete, the smart doctor, or brave firefighter.  We have it all planned out for them.  If they just eat their vegetables, work out right; study hard than they will be ready to fill that mold.  Isn't there more we want for them than that?  What kind of men will we raise our sons to be?  Do we want them to be men that are cookie cutters of what our culture and society says they should be, or do we want to raise strong men who embrace their own skill-set and strengths no matter what society dictates. Men who strive to be the best they can be. Men, who aren’t envious of what others can do, but understand the importance of their role in the circle of brotherhood.

I think deep down we all want our sons to be the best and have everything. We want them to be good husbands and fathers.  I married into a family of guys guys.  Men who do the men work.  The boys played their sports, got jobs in criminal justice, mowed the lawn and they fixed cars, built decks, drove boats, go to baseball games, and have toolboxes. However, more importantly, what I really married into is a group of men that have unconditional love for one another.  Love that is so deep that if I picked up the phone and called them for anything, they would do it in a heartbeat.  No questions asked.  I married into this brotherhood that is so unexplainable yet so real.

We all need that brotherhood in our lives. These men are the true definition of honest, trusting guys who will not just tell you what you want to hear but to help you discover what you need.  We need the kind of men who will draw out their sword with you on the battlefield.  It’s a group of guys who will build kitchen cabinets for you, make your family dinner, or go to a hockey game with you. These are the kind of men who don't mind talking about their kids or who aren't too proud to share how much they love their wife.  Whether it is in a church small group, the guys in your family or your neighborhood pals, we all long for and desperately need that brotherhood. We need to ask for directions sometimes.

At the end of the day we all want to live a life that has substance and meaning. Society likes to tell us that this kind of brotherhood doesn't truly exist, and that really when it boils down to it it's every man for himself. You know what? I really don’t believe that’s true, because I've seen otherwise for myself. There  are times when I look at myself and ask where’s the beef,  but then I think of one of my favorite passages from my favorite book and it reminds me that there is always someone willing to break the mold and fight the stereotypes with me.  So gather up brothers, and be prepared to battle for yourself, your loved ones and your sons!

"In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. “ Ephesians 6:16-17